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Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Saucer Crash!

What you're seeing here is a foo fighter that's just been squash-cooked by a power overload.

Remember when I told you we run saucers on green beer? That's really only part of the fuel formula. Saucer fuel is a mix of green beer (which we make green by adding a special green mineral to the beer) and methane gas that is processed by a very specific form of nanites. We get the methane from your atmosphere. This is part of the reason your planet hasn't been completely cooked by the greenhouse effect of methane gas. That almost happened in the dinosaur age.

You see, long ago, millions of Human years, we knew that we'd need a continuous source of methane fuel in nearby local space in order to keep the foos fueled. We discovered that some animal life forms emitted the stuff through their digestive tracts when fed certain foods. Humans and cattle are the prime sources of atmospheric methane in the current era, but long ago, it was herbivorous dinosaurs. This is one of the reasons we genetically engineered many bean species.

The foos siphon off the methane in the atmosphere from the constant farting of animals the eat a lot of plants, especially beans. This is known as "skimming the green cloud." Usually we can keep a pretty good balance of methane in the atmosphere so that Earth doesn't get too hot. After all, if Earth burns up, there goes our methane and squash supply.

However, in the dinosaur era, the dinosaurs got so numerous that they were creating a bigger green cloud than what the foos needed for travel, and the Earth started getting hotter because of it. To help lessen the problem, we created a much more powerful green beam generator for the foo fighters, one that is effectively as powerful as some of the highest powered lasers you Humans have managed to create. The foos then picked up extra methane and converted it to green beam energy, and they would go out at night and shoot the green beam at the polar ice caps and glaciers to dissipate the extra methane energy.

However, as the numbers of dinosaurs kept increasing, we started running out of ice to shoot at. The planet kept getting hotter and hotter as we were forced to shoot the green beam into the oceans to dissipate excess green cloud energy. The dinosaurs were on the verge of farting themselves to death, when the Reptiloids crashed a small comet into the Earth and wiped out most of the dinosaurs - and our fuel supply.

Soon after that, we discovered that certain primitive primates and cattle could replace the dinosaurs as our green cloud source, so we "bumped" their genetic code a bit so that they could digest beans and other plants, and started recovering our fuel supplies.

The problem comes in where you humans and your beef cattle have gotten so numerous and so efficient at farting green clouds out, that we're again shooting the green beam at the ice and oceans, and all the ice is melting away. This is why your climate science models are all wacked out and don't quite work right.

Occasionally, a flying saucer will have a failure in its green beam generator's energy regulator, and all the methane gets released in a huge cloud of green energy, rupturing the foo fighter and causing it to crash. The most famous example was in Roswell, New Mexico a few years back.

We're trying to figure out how to get you Humans to lighten up on the green-cloud creation, short of another comet impact. We haven't got that piece yet. We have, however, learned how to clean up dead foo fighters immediately and hypnotize all the Humans in the area to keep it quiet. The kagooz help keep people from even wanting to remember!

Zazzo out.


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