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Thursday, June 11, 2015

Zazzo Gets A Job...

Ok, Earthlings, it's time to admit it. My Foo Fighter broke down and crashed. She's just not going to budge. I haven't seen the lovely Drizzla in months. I've been stuck wandering around in the desert here in the California part of Earth.

I've been dodging coyotes, Reptiloids, chupacabras, rattlesnakes, and tarantulas like crazy. The good news is that there's lots of Mexican restaurants here that have Green Sauce and green Ortega chiles.

I spotted this guy sitting out on his front porch late one night watching the stars. That's my favorite thing about you Earthlings, a bunch of you actually look up at the night sky and wonder. Twinkle, twinkle, is that a star or a meteor, or a foo fighter? (No, not the ones on Sonic Highways, but their music is AWESOME!)

At any rate, a coyote snuck up behind me and I had to run up on this guy's porch in order to keep a glowing chunk from being bitten out of my behind! Obviously this guy Dan saw me, as I just about ran right into him! Luckily, he's so big and tall when he's on his feet that the coyote turned tail and ran as soon as Dan stood up. Whew!

Well, anyway, unlike most Earthlings, Dan didn't freak out and start gibbering, or scream "Alien! There's an ALIEN!" Nope. This guy was very logical and Spock-like. (No pointed ears, though.) All Dan says is, "Hi. My name is Dan. Do you speak English, and are you OK?" He even gave me the Vulcan salute: \\//_

Well, there was no help for it. [ My name is Zazzo, of the Palien Green Federation of Orion's Belt ] I thought into his head. [ And yes, I think English. I'm also hungry. Have you got any salsa verde or margaritas in there?  My foo fighter broke down and crashed, and I'm starving and tired of dodging evil critters! ]

Dan got a laugh out of that one. "I've got margaritas, but no salsa at the moment. How about I fix you one, and you can 'crash' on the couch and tell me your story. Sorry, bad pun. I do that. What do you, think?"

Well, the rest is short-term history. This tall Earthling understood when I told him I needed to upgrade the tech on this planet so I could fix my foo fighter, and he gave me a job at his business, which happens to be technical. So now I work at Temecool Computer Repair as a sort of spokesman. In return, I get salsa verde, an occasional margarita, and bottles of green Tobasco for foo fuel. Who'd have thought it?